The conversation that changed my life.

THE CONVERSATION THAT CHANGED MY LIFE

2007

I am not coming home ' These are the hardest words I have ever said and waiting for the response seemed to be the longest moment of my life I came to USA from Russia as a visitor . I was supposed to stay only for three months on a short term work . I never expected to stay . USA is not my home . However , things rarely are as we expect them to be . While in the US , I met a very special guy who opened my eyes to

the opportunity of having an education in the US and having a new life far different from the one I used to have . With his help and with the new experiences I have in the US , I felt that I wanted to stay , to study and to learn and experience more . However , deciding to stay is not easy , more so because it means leaving my family and my home . Most importantly telling my family that I will not be going home is not easy . Whether to leave or to stay is not something that I can easily decide

T .S Eliot once said , Home is where we start from . It is the womb out of which we were born . It is where we belong even when we don 't think we do . But we don 't stay there . Home is only where we start from We leave home in to stand on our own . We leave home so that we can become a distinct and separate person with our own feelings and ideas We leave home so that we can go home again . And we leave home so that we might make a home of our own (See Anderson . Just like this , I needed to leave home , but not merely because I cannot be a separate person where my home is , but because I found that it is in another place , in US to be exact , where my new life is supposed to be

Therefore , one chilly September morning , I made the big decision . I decided to stay . It was September 3 . I had a ticket back to Russia for September 5 , the day they were expecting me to come home . However instead of packing my bags , I decided to call my mother and tell her my thoughts and my decision . Lifting the phone receiver and knowing that I will be telling my mother something that will shock her and possibly break her heart make my hands tremble and my heart beat so hard . I have never felt as nervous as I felt that day . I finally told her , I am not coming home . I had to explain why . I had to struggle with the words to make her understand that I have chosen a new life , a new way of life , a new place of living and a new romantic relationship . I have said all that I felt . The only remaining question is what will...