Self Review

According to the peer review I received , my essay sports a strong and clear issue supported by adequate imagery . It does , however , have several flaws that need to be addressed in to make it a stronger . These flaws , as identified by my peer reviewer , include lack of a title , technical errors in sentence structure and grammar , and an awkward paragraph

The addition of a strong title would serve to draw the reader 's attention to my essay and help in clearly stating the purpose behind my writing in this assignment . An appropriate

title would tie in my central purpose (that is , explaining my torn feelings between love for my new home and opportunities in the United States , and missing my mother and old life in Rio ) with the direct examples I provide in the narrative (pressures of working for a living , the plight of the elderly trapped in nursing homes ) and their relation to Salve 's story

Sentence structure and grammar also have several flaws in my essay primarily due to English being my second language . Some sentences sound a little awkward and do not flow correctly . Other errors are simple proof-reading mistakes including reversed pronouns ( his ' used instead of hers , etc ) and spelling mistakes . These should be relatively simple to correct and will play a huge role in making my essay appear more professional

The final flaw , as identified in my peer review , rests with paragraph 5- which my reviewer found confusing . On re-reading it myself , I can easily see how this is so . This paragraph , describing Salve 's family , is somewhat jumbled and suffers from a number of grammar errors that make it confusing . Cleaning up this paragraph will express the ideas presented more clearly and make the as a whole flow much more evenly...