Romance can last forever in one relationship

CAN ROMANCE LAST FOREVER IN A RELATIONSHIP ROMANCE CAN

The Victorians looked at love in the same way they looked at life----as a holistic fusion of one 's body , mind , and eternal soul . It was this transcendent fusion , as opposed to a narrow focus on physical or even merely mortal love ,that made their passion so gloriously great consuming , and complete . This is why we mistake great sex for grand passion . The Victorians made a religion of love , believing it lifted them up into a transcendental realm of experience . This exalted ideal

was commonly expressed in inspirational terms of endearment far richer and sweeter than any honey ' - the best we can muster . To Nathaniel Hawthorne , his wife 's love letters were spiritual food . So ardent was his veneration of the feast that his adored Sophie supplied , writes the historian , Paula Fletcher , that Hawthorne wrote , I keep them to be the treasures of my still and secret hours , such hours as pious people spend in prayer and the communion which my spirit then holds with yours has something of religion in it

Among the courtship letters of ordinary Victorians studied by the historian , Lauren Van Hersche was that of a college student who told the woman who he was to marry , You have been my very soul

Today 's woman can choose from models of masculinity that range from the sensitive postfeminist ' male to socially sanctioned sides of beefcake . But we can imagine any of them , from Tom Cruise to Fabio describing sex like the Victorian swain Austin Dickenson , who , when writing to his beloved Mabel , called it a consecration ' and the white heat that engulfs my being

Indee , while the Victorian passion thrived on great expectations , we bring cynical and dispiriting apprehensions to the tentative venture of love and marriage . This wet-blanket attitude was rampant among welfare mothers prod in the past by The Washington Post . I don 't know what people get married for ' said one resigned twenty-something woman For stability or security or what ? That would just make you co-dependent on some man

Declining marriage rates among rich and poor alike reflect the deep disillusionment with any chance that love is forever . In her book , Mice Love , Men , What of , Elizabeth McLevie warns women that their relations with men will be brief , punctuated by emotional dislocations , and seldom offering the kind of loyalty that might extent into middle age ' So use men for sex , she counsels , but rely only on women for friendship , support , and every other human need men are too inhuman to meet . Better yet , rely completely on yourself , and the insurance company whose advertisements tell women , to Be Your Own Rock ' presumably with suitable investments . This unchallenged gospel touts the mental equivalent of safe-sex , protect yourself at any cost or it will cost you plenty

But , we may steel out hearts and bank accounts against assault , but steel is no substitute for poetry , passion , or the love we are...