Psychology

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Operant Conditioning

Operant Conditioning happens to any individual from the moment they are born and until the day they die . Operant conditioning has dictated the life of society for numerous years from religion to government to education

On a personal level these conditioning also occurs when raising children , training pets as well as having a harmonious relationship with a lifetime partner or spouse . I have used operant conditioning numerous times in my life and I have received them as well

Since

I have no children I can only apply these conditioning methods in my relationship and , with greater introspection , I have realized that the actions that I have done towards the behavior of my partner can be considered as conditioning , although it was unknowingly done

Positive Reinforcement

Positive reinforcement occurs almost on an everyday basis without anyone even realizing it . It can come in the form of a reward , a simple compliment , a smile , laughter , a hug , or a simple thank you

An example of how I had used positive reinforcement was with regards to exercising

I love it when my boyfriend exercises with me , an activity that he would prefer not to do or do at his own pace during his own time . So the first thing I did was tell him how good he looked when he exercised and I complimented him in having such a svelte body after a good set of exercises . This complement made him feel good about himself at the same time he knew that by exercising , my attraction towards him got stronger . Knowing this and feeling thus , he became motivated to exercise . However , I wanted him to exercise with me and thus I had to create some motivation for him to do so . So I invited him to exercise with me once and after a nice good set and run , I treated him to a nice healthy lunch . This served as his reward . It was important however that this kind of reward was consistent , at least in the beginning or else the whole point of treating him out would not be considered a reward but just a happenstance . After sometime , scheduling the reward and making it varied would keep my partner to continue the activity with me

Negative Reinforcement

Women are famous for negative reinforcement and thus men have really no choice but to do as women wish , and sure enough it always works . The only drawback in this method is that a measure of resentment is created in the process

Everybody hates a nagger . However , it is negative reinforcement that is effective for both children and adults

Taking out the garbage is one issue that is worth talking about with regards to nagging . The garbage is normally heavy and filthy and I prefer that my partner does this . It is a job that has been assigned to him however , initially it wasn 't the case . Every time I see a pile of garbage I immediately commence in nagging . Now this is not done on purpose but the issue of garbage is a pet peeve that I just cannot tolerate . Thus , the nagging ensues . Sometimes the nagging becomes incessant that may bring about other issues , related or not , to the fore

My partner , obviously not wanting to be nagged on a daily basis , will then put out the garbage with hardly any reminder . For sure , even before I notice the garbage , the garbage would have been placed out which results in a very quiet and harmonious evening

The nagging is the negative reinforcement which my partner wanted stop Upon doing the expected behavior , the nagging stopped . However , my partner is quite aware that if he ever stopped putting the garbage out then the nagging will return thus motivating him to always bring out the garbage

Positive Punishment

Since my partner is an adult it is very difficult to just spank him every time he did something unsatisfactory . However , positive punishment can come in a different form like scolding or in a more mature sense an argument

When my boyfriend would come home really late without calling or informing me about it he knows that he will encounter an argument when he comes home . In trying to avoid an argument he therefore calls to inform me he 'll be late or if not he will come home early . The knowledge that an argument awaits him stops him from coming home late without calling

Although positive punishment , more often than not , refers to physical pain like spanking , a big argument with a loved one causes as much , if not more pain but on an emotional level . This is the reason why an argument with me will stop my boy friend from coming home late without informing me because he feels bad when we argue

This however , may not be as effective to children if and when we decide to have one . I believe that positive punishment may be necessary at the earlier stage of a child . I am referring to spanking . If I have children I believe that spanking at the age of five and below may be implemented . At these ages , the minds of children have not fully developed and thus the only way they can understand displeasure is by using their senses - the mad face , the loud and stern voice and the sting of a spank . The spank does not have to be so hard as long as they feel the slapping sensation which they can associate with the loud voice and the frowning face . At older ages , negative punishment will be more effective because there will be understanding of what is being taken away

Negative Punishment

Something that normally follows positive punishment is negative punishment when in comes to my relationship which strengthens the conditioning of my partner never to come home late without telling me

After a big argument with my partner I would ask him to sleep in the couch . Sleeping in the couch takes away his privilege of sleeping on a nice , comfortable and cozy bed instead he sleeps in a narrow , hard , and lumpy sofa . This serves as his punishment for not informing to that he was coming in late . The inconvenience and the separation with me , at least for that night , immediately send the message that his late and unannounced arrival is a big no-no . This will motivate him not to do it again and the inconvenience of the sofa and the separation will reinforce that he should call if he 'll be late or eh should just come home early

As mentioned earlier , this punishment will be more effective on my future children at older ages . At earlier stages , children are cognizant of what they like , what is pleasurable , and what makes them happy and entertained . Taking away these privileges that are normally available for their pleasure , in the form of grounding , will result in an unhappiness or dissatisfaction that they would not want to happen again . This dissatisfaction and unhappiness will be enough to motivate the children to be at their best behavior

All these strategies have been used on me by my own parents in the hopes that I will turn out to be a good adult , citizen and , hopefully , a good parent as well . Therefore , I intend to use these strategies to guide my own future children in the proper path to survive and function in life and society . I do not doubt that my own partner is using these same strategies on me . However , operative conditioning , in the case of relationships , may be necessary to achieve a deeper understanding of each other and to create , as much as possible , a harmonious co existence

Reference

Ciccarelli , Sandra K Meyer , Glenn E . Psychology First Edition . New Jersey : Prentice Hall , 2006

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