Pastiche and Defense

If you were in a car wreck , I would help you

Pull you from the wreckage and call for a tow

If I were a firefighter , I 'd put out your fire

Quench all the flames and help you out the window

If you were a cat I 'd buy you a bell

Put it around your neck and listen for you

If I were a president you 'd be my aid

With legislature passed just between us two

If you were Mexican I would learn Spanish

Wear a sombrero and

eat nachos with cheese

If you were a pillow I 'd lay my head on you

Drift off to sleep and share all your dreams

If you loved thunderstorms I 'd be your lightning

Shocking you through when you least expect me

And if you were my love I 'd die beside you

Because grave plots are more costly when bought singly

The poem I chose to imitate and use to create my pastiche was Joseph Brodsky 's Love Song . The poem is Brodsky 's unusual ode to the woman he loves , telling her all the things that he would do for her if he could . These are things that he would do to show her how much he loves her , how far he would to take care of her , and how attracted he is to her . I chose this poem because I felt that it was an interesting combination of humor and subtle sexual innuendo intertwined with classical...