Journal on Interpersonal communication

Journal on Interpersonal Communication

July 9 , 2006

We engage in interpersonal communication to help us build a context of understanding . Interpersonal communications help us convey our interpersonal needs and help us understand others better . However effective interpersonal communication is one that is comprised of the proper use and choice of words because words can make or break a communication or even a relationship . Interpersonal communication will be most effective when the choice of medium (words ) is in a proper context . As such , my way of putting this into practice is by

learning to translate my complaints and criticism to requests . I put my resolution to practice at home where I am often used to be heard complaining about food , the noise and many others

Instead of saying You are so noisy ' to my playing siblings , I restated it by saying minimize your noise so I can concentrate on what I am doing . Instead of saying the food is inedible , I tried to encourage my mother to cook better food by saying How about trying some new recipes that is more tasteful

I think this is a good start for me to learn the importance of respect in my interpersonal communication with others

July 10 , 2006

Knapp 's relationship escalation model shows that individuals in a certain relationship need to interact and communicate with each other so as to be able to know each other and grow in their relationship . As such , in for me to know and better understand what others are feeling , thinking , wanting and planning , I needed to be creative in my interaction with them . Hence , I learned the art of restructuring my questions

In to encourage deeper conversations and be able to share more thoughts and feelings with others , I started using open-ended questions in my dealings with my classmates that I want to be more acquainted with . The "yes /no " questions oftentimes solicit superficial answers and more likely discourage people from opening up

I used to ask my classmates questions that give me either a yes ' or a no ' as an answer but giving questions that allow a wide range of responses spurred conversation and resulted to a more effective interpersonal communication . Moreover , giving creative questions allowed me to know and understand people better

July 11 , 2006

An important thing that I have noticed whenever I engage in communication with another person is that there is always a sharing of information about me and the other person which may be done directly or indirectly . I can share information about myself directly by saying something or by introducing myself but I can also give out information about myself indirectly through my gestures and physical appearance . For example , not listening attentively while my teacher talks can give the impression that I am not interested with the subject

These indirect forms of communication is important in that gestures become forms of self disclosure and when gestures are not appropriate or acceptable , it can lead to unfavorable impressions which can affect preliminary interactions and communication we have for others

From this , I learned the value of dressing appropriately for every occasion . I cannot also dress to reflect a personality that I am not because I will tend to attract and alienate the wrong kinds of people and group

Since gestures such as eye contact , body movements , and hand gestures are also effective means of communication , I have to be careful with my actions too . Hence , for me to convey to other people the idea that I am not a snob and that I am approachable and friendly , I need to practice smiling and to smile back when people greet or smile at me

July 12 , 2006

Interpersonal communication is very important such that it is through communication that we establish our identity and get to know another person . Thus , communication is a process where we can find people who share the same interest with us and people who can relate with us Interpersonal communication is a way of making friends and finding suitable friends . As such , to be able to meet friends or develop my relationship with others , I need to learn how to approach and communicate with other people

I approached one of my classmates who seems very intimidating and asked her about what she thought of the latest Superman movie . It turned out that we shared the same interest in superhero movies that we ended up talking about other movies . From there , I realized that I have found a potential new friend who shares the same interest with me . Because we have engaged in interpersonal communication , I have established my personality and identity by sharing my interests with her . In the same manner , she has also established herself by sharing her interests . The outcome of the communication is that we came to know more about each other not just as classmates . Both of us found a person who shares the same interest and with the way we related with each other , it will not be impossible that one of these days , I might often find myself asking her about which superhero movies are hot and which superhero movies are not

July 13 , 2006

Development and growth of relationships are perhaps the reasons if not the most important reasons why people engage in deeper interpersonal communications . I have realized that the way I communicate with people reflects my relationship with them . I have also found out that interpersonal communication can help an individual to establish his identity and to relate with others . As such , good interpersonal communication is needed for me to develop my relationship with others

I do not say that I do not have any good relationships at all . I just realized that some of the relationships that I have are stagnant and need growth . I also found it amusing that even some of my long time relationships with people have remained characteristically in the I-it ' and I- you ' relationships . I reflected on Knapp 's relationship escalation model to see what I can do to improve most of my relationships

My relationship with my classmate that I have approached to ask about the Superman movie has passed through the initiation and experimenting stage . In the experimenting stage , we have learned that both of us have interest in superhero movies . I have wished to develop deeper friendship with this person after the experimenting stage . However , I have noted that most relationships progress no further after the experimenting stage , and unless I do something , the potentially good friendship will remain superficial and stumped

As such , I have planned to advance into another stage where I will be interacting more with the person . We can talk more than movies or school assignments . Maybe we can talk about other interests that we might also share . After that , we can do our assignments together or maybe watch movies together . After that , may be we can talk more about deeper things like families , relationships , and maybe those things and interest that we no longer mutually share . However , when we reach that stage of relationship , differences will no longer be as important because by then , when we have reached the bonding stage , we can already consider each other as best friends and best friends accept each other regardless of weaknesses and differences

July 14 , 2006

Listening is said to be a very important aspect of communication but the least practiced of all communications skills . I think that this is true such that I personally have difficulty listening . It feels good to talk about how I feel , what I think about things , and what I think about others but it is difficult to give other chances to talk about themselves most especially their problems

I tried to assess the level of my listening . I kept a record of the amount of time I spent talking on the phone . I also recorded the amount of time I have spent talking and listening to the person on the other line . Unfortunately , it appeared that I spend most of the time talking Worse , I realized after reflecting that I poorly understood what has been told me . Hence , I have poor listening skills

Listening is one way of building good interpersonal relationship and I have to develop the skill of listening such that when I do not listen the people I communicate with will have difficulty conveying their messages or establish their identities to me . Not listening is also an obstacle to a good communication and good relationship

To help myself develop good listening skills , I made it a point to record my conversations on the phone , at least for a start . I still have difficulty overcoming talking ' as I still tend to talk more but there have been good changes . I am still planning to continue my phone conversation listening program ' to see how my listening skills will improve . I always feel better after I have talk about anything especially when I express my problems and bad feelings . If I allow others especially my friends who needed to express their feelings and depressions to feel the same by listening attentively and more sympathetically to them , they might also feel better . If I learn to listen , then I can help ease some of the burdens of my friends

July 15 , 2006

It is said that conflict is part of most interpersonal relationships People have conflicts because of different reasons but oftentimes it is because of differences . For a relationship to grow and become long- lasting it has to be managed carefully and properly as differences and frictions have to be settled properly

My relationship with my mother is one that is consist of many conflicts I used to attribute these conflicts to our age gap or the so-called generation gap . Sometimes it is just difficult for us to understand each other . From what I have learned that conflicts should be properly dealt with to foster a healthy relationship , I embarked myself to a resolution of acknowledging that conflicts can be good and can strengthen relationships . As such , I needed to understand why I have conflicts with my mother . I realized that conflicts between us happen because each of us oftentimes fails to admit our mistakes . I also realized that the situation worsens such as it would take us days to reconcile when we do not properly present our sides and opinions . For this reason , I have decided that the next time conflict between us occurs , I should be humble enough to communicate properly about the conflict by talking to her and not avoiding her . Conflict resolution is also best when I become careful with the words that I use with my mother . If I think she doesn 't understand me , maybe it is because I don 't understand her either . As such , communication is highly encouraged for us to be able to meet halfway

Conflict is unavoidable and it is evident that my relationship with my mother is not an exemption . Conflict sometimes results to bad feelings and hampered relationship growth but it also becomes constructive when the persons involved learn to manage such conflicts . If the reason for the conflict is differences , then a better understanding of both parties ' differences may take place when conflicts have been properly managed

July 16 , 2006

I have learned from the course that interpersonal communication is important in an interpersonal relationship . People , however , communicate differently with different people . For example , my conduct of communication with people that I do not personally know is superficial such that I communicate with them simply because I need to do business with them like when I need to ask a saleslady in a grocery store about the availability of certain merchandises . This is also the way I communicate with new classmates on the first day of school . Sometimes I just look at them but do not talk to them yet because of fear that they might just disregard me

The way I communicate with some of my older classmates on the other hand , fall under the I- you ' category . There are some classmates that I have been with for quite some time and I am already comfortable talking with them . Our talks include assignments and occasionally the latest movies we have watched . However , relationship with them is evident in our communication . It is superficial

The way I communicate with my best friend , also a classmate is , however deeper . We can talk about anything from the trivial things such as what I think about the latest books she has borrowed from me , to more sensitive s such as my family problems and depressions . I believe that our communication characteristically falls under the "I-Thou communication , the highest level of human interaction such that we do not merely communicate as classmates but we communicate about deeper things as unique individuals

My best friend and I were strangers to each other at first . The only common thing we share is the classroom . Today , we realize we share the same interests . Sometimes , we even have the same problems and happiness I feel challenged with the idea that my relationship with my other classmates can grow too . For this reason , I have started to share myself with my classmates . I have also started to look for common interest that I and some of my classmates share . I just need to communicate more effectively with them and who knows ? I might end up with more close friends in the future ...