Gender and Culture

Once a Boy Now a Man M I am now a grown man , a college student , and over-all a good person . I realize that it took experiences in my childhood to make me the man I am today . I think being a man means I should be strong , but not aggressive . I should live up to my potential with the strengths that I have . I should honor my commitments and be loyal to family and friends When one of my buddies ' need something I do everything I can to help him

. Really these traits could qualify for women , as well . I look at being a person ' first and being a man ' secondly

I feel like I have always known the golden rule ' and that being a man means following that rule . I have had struggles , like all kids do , to fit in ' with other boys , so maybe I was more aggressive than I should have been at times ! I remember the portrayal of men on television and in other kinds of media (like Rambo ' and the Terminator ) and myself and my friends probably all thought this was how men should be when we were in grade school . I , also , had more female teachers than male in elementary school , so it was difficult for us to find many male role models , who were educated in the school setting . Sports and other programs was the only way for a boy to find role models outside of our families

As a young man and boy , I felt conflicted about how to show any other emotion than anger and rage . When something upsetting happened to me and I wanted to cry , I felt like I might be a sissy ' or momma 's boy . So , this continues to be an issue with me and many men probably have to find their own ways to deal with emotion . I cry privately and try not to be too hard on myself ' when I feel sad . Another issue I struggle with and have been dealing with (or reminiscing about ) in college is that I internalized that idea that men are not supposed to be intelligent , but rather tough ' and either put into categories like jock ' or punk . Kids that were intelligent and enjoyed learning were labeled as nerds . Of course , there were exceptions to this but not many

It is ironic now that in college everyone is supposed to be intelligent or trying to be , at least . We treat ourselves differently I college , so guys that are doing well in school are envied and not made fun of But , sometimes we get accused of brown-nosing ' or something similar when we get good grades . I deal with this by doing the best I possibly can and just taking remarks from my class-mates as jokes . There isn 't as much pressure here to be manly ' and I feel like I am doing my best as a person first and a man second...